Milestones
Aug. 28th, 2012 04:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
karenhealeyInternets, I just made up a boyfriend who does not exist for the first time.
I realise you're supposed to do this when you're fifteen and all your friends (claim to) have boyfriends/girlfriends/it's complicated and you feel super left out and envious, but I never really felt this was when I was fifteen. So I missed out on that whole cutting pictures out of a magazine and pretending he's at boarding school thing.
But today I was eating awesome souvlaki and the shop owner, who is a very nice man, started getting a leeetle invasive with personal questions, to the point where I felt as if I were auditioning for a part I didn't really want, and for which I had not actually consented to audition. But I also didn't want to go to all the bother and weirdness of refusing the part, and, more crucially, I really like souvlaki. And this is awesome souvlaki! I did not want to risk my souvlaki supply.
So I made up a boyfriend in Christchurch. His name is Steve*! He's a teacher, and I'm moving in with him in January and we're thinking about kids in maybe two or three years. (Now that I think about it, these questions really were getting SUPER invasive).
Anyway! At the age of 31, I have lied about my first invented boyfriend.
I think he likes dogs.
* Of course I stole Captain America's name for my imaginary boyfriend. I mean, who else**?
** "Alec", that's who else. Maybe next time.
I realise you're supposed to do this when you're fifteen and all your friends (claim to) have boyfriends/girlfriends/it's complicated and you feel super left out and envious, but I never really felt this was when I was fifteen. So I missed out on that whole cutting pictures out of a magazine and pretending he's at boarding school thing.
But today I was eating awesome souvlaki and the shop owner, who is a very nice man, started getting a leeetle invasive with personal questions, to the point where I felt as if I were auditioning for a part I didn't really want, and for which I had not actually consented to audition. But I also didn't want to go to all the bother and weirdness of refusing the part, and, more crucially, I really like souvlaki. And this is awesome souvlaki! I did not want to risk my souvlaki supply.
So I made up a boyfriend in Christchurch. His name is Steve*! He's a teacher, and I'm moving in with him in January and we're thinking about kids in maybe two or three years. (Now that I think about it, these questions really were getting SUPER invasive).
Anyway! At the age of 31, I have lied about my first invented boyfriend.
I think he likes dogs.
* Of course I stole Captain America's name for my imaginary boyfriend. I mean, who else**?
** "Alec", that's who else. Maybe next time.
no subject
Date: 2012-08-28 11:10 pm (UTC)I last used it on a busdriver who was driving me home late at night and I was the only person on the bus and his small talk about the earthquake drifted into compliments on my sense of humour and culminated (some time after I'd become sufficiently uncomfortable that, when he asked, I introduced myself as Jane) in an offer to detour the bus so he could drop me off right outside my house.
I mean probably he was just a clueless dolt who thought that this offer would make me feel more safe or something.
Or it could have been a prelude to an episode of Criminal Minds: New Zealand with no guarantee I'd live long enough to fangirl at my favourite characters.
Fortunately I live in a cul-de-sac so there was no way the bus was going to be able to turn down there anyway, but it's just a bit tempting to invent an imaginary address. (Also, in retrospect, to maybe email all the bus companies, when I have time, to ask them to gently remind their otherwise universally fantastic bus drivers to please avoid being creepy.)