karenhealey: Rainbow Dash overcome with excitement (My Little Pony) (Default)
[personal profile] karenhealey
Hearken, ye internets, and list to this tale.

Long months had bold Karen of the Healeys desired a stand mixer, for bountiful were her baked goods. Valiant her hand mixer was, and well-used, but even the sharpest blade must dull and the strongest motor fail. Many minutes had bright Karen gazed upon the eggs that would not stiffen, and the butter and sugar that would not cream, and said, "I totally wish I could afford a stand mixer. Preferably red."

But though brilliant Karen's funds were low, her spirits were high, and this was well, for she labored in the mines of Retail Job. Most adept was she at the fitting of bras and the considering of hemlines, and she was beloved of customers, known to all as "that nice girl, the writer, the smiley one." At Retail Job was a stand mixer available for purchase, at the sum of $400, and though a very reasonable price, especially with a two year guarantee and a 4.2 litre bowl with three hook attachments, cautious Karen could not brook such a sum.

On occasion, Retail Job would enter a time of sale, and on such days, oft did the stand mixer become half price, or $200. But not even for this bargain price could mighty Karen be moved.

"You'd get staff discount too," offered her comrades. "$180, come on, you love it, you visit it all the time."

Brave Karen shook her head and sighed and stood firm.

Now it came to be the day of Christ's Mass, and noble Karen's noble mother and father gifted her a food processor. High pitched were her squeals and tight her hugs, for she had expected little and been granted much. "And this," said her wise mother, and gifted her $60.

"Oh," said happy Karen, and thought, "I'd only have to come up with $120 now!"

But though her heart yearned, her wallet stayed shut.

On the day of Boxing, Karen returned to Retail Job, for her final day of toil. Swift passed the hours, and as lunch drew to a close, sweaty Karen was called to the office.

Then said her boss, "This is for you!"

It was a gift card for $95.

"We did a whip round," explained her boss. "Thanks so much for all your hard work."

"Oh," breathed grateful Karen, and her hopes raised high. "Um, I'm just going to check something…"

Half-price was the stand mixer. Staff discount could be further applied. $60 from her parents. $95 from her co-workers.

That, sweet listeners, is the tale of how thrifty Karen paid $25 of her own money for a brand new stand mixer.

And it was red.

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